Monday, November 30, 2009

new moon

this is novel new moon i got it from cik fara aliaa and cik eznira rhazali...;)





i already watch that movie with my officemate...;))
i just can gave 3 and half star only...maybe twilight more better oke....;)
right now i just confuse..why i can crying read the novel but not watch movie.....so so so confuse...

i love scene when bella birthday..its remind me about my birthday....;)))....so so great...i like..;)
but i really love when jacob dialogs.." for charlie.....for me...i'm begging you.."

"what did you think you were going to find? i mean, besides me dead? did you expect to find me skipping around and whistling show tunes? you know me better than that" page 389 new moon novel...i love the dialog...damn so much...

i don't know why i love the movie and the novel...because of the hero..robbert pattinson...i love him when i saw him in harry potter( oo0o0..glew comel mamat ni)...or maybe i love vampire...;))
or i'm just an ordinary girl love reading books and watching movie....
when i was at school...i was collect all my money to buy my comics and books...;))

reading books make me so so so enjoy and apperiaciate my life...;))


*remind back my memory with my ex boyfriend...i already told him..i want set of harry potter novel..but he gave me..a bouquet of orange roses on my valentine...aiyark...so bad!!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

missing her broken car...

i'm gonna be happy like other people...

my roads without a broken car anymore..


last saturday...i having fun with all my family....abah , both of my mak , siblings , brother in law , uncle , aunty , cousins , nieces and nephews...

i'm happy with my family...dissapear all my problem for temporary..
enough said...

last entry

dunia putar putar...tapi saya masih tegak berdiri...

right now my feeling is so so disspointed , sad and so on..saya da penat untuk nangis sebab dia..
a week yang memenatkan..everytime i keep on thinking about him..
saya tahu saya kena kuat..tapi saya tak kuat sebenarnya...i always act like i'm so so stronger..
senyum dan ketawa bagai orang gila...but i was crying deep in my heart...:'(
saya tak tahu la..kalau ini dipanggil love...love without means...
sebab saya tak pernah rasa feel yang camni kat orang laen...eventhough dengan mokhtar , syahril , and izzwan...

dulu saya selalu cakap...' you are so stupid crying because of that love...saya takan menangis sebab lelaki oke..."
saya tak pernah rasa disspointed glew glew ble syahril buat perangai..saya nak nangis..tapi tak boleh...saya rasa saya sayang dia...even mase tu saya dengan mokhtar...saya dengan mokhtar tapi saya masih suka syahril lagi...saya masih lagi nak dekat dia..owh..rupa rupanya saya hanya suka dekat syahril , mokhtar dan izzwan...sebab...saya tak pernah nangis hari hari sebab syahril mahupun mokhtar ataupun izzwan...tapi dengan dia ni..laju je airmata ni keluar..
kalau la laptop kesayangan ni , wall wall , bantal , both of my phone ni boleh bercakap...
mesti dorang cakap " please la...stop crying...i am tired saw your tears everyday "
saya hanya nangis depan barang barang kesayangan saya ni , dan hanya sekali depan dee...:'(
sebab saya suka tahan...selagi saya boleh tahan..saya akan tahan air mata saya.." tolong jangan nangis HANIZAHJMALEK" itu la kata kata keramat yang selalu berlegar legar di hati saya...
tapi...sekarang ni..saya mudah nangis...sangat sangat mudah oke...sampai sumer orang pelik..nape la saya mudah sangat nangis...i hate my tears...

everytime...when i share with my friends...saya selalu cakap..."i todd this is my last love..mane nak jumpe guy yang nice macam tu.." tapi my last love yang takan jadi last.....
ntah la...sometimes when i keep on thinking about it..i always talking by myself..maybe i'm gonna be crazy....keep on crying everyday...

suddenly my evil mind said......biarlah.....(hanya saya saje yang tahu)

saya da tanak share ape ape lagi dengan kawan kawan saya..i know they are tired given me an advice and listening my problem...tu sebab saya update blog saya dengan post last entry ni...
saya da tanak dorang sedey or susun susun ayat tuk buat saya oke...


i always said to myself , my friends ....love is blind...i don't know why i can love him..
sebab saya boleh sukasayang dia tanpa memikirkan ape ape pon...
saya da tanak nangis lagi de depan laptop saya....last saya nangis depan orang sebab dia..maser kat cc..maser saya ym dengan dia..last ym..
boleh tak kamu bayangkan...didepan semua semua orang yang online kat cc tu..saya boleh nangis...waaaaaaaaaaa...glew malu....
dan selepas tu...saya nangis sorang sorang la.....and kalau saya call orang..ble mereka dengar suara saya bertukar....saya akan cakap.." i got a flu la babe...hujan kan.." hujan airmata..bukan kena hujan pon...

and right now...i hope he happy as he wish...and i'm happy when his happy.....
i just don't want broke my swear to him......
"i akan tetap..angkt phone..reply your text....or anything la..."
"i'm always with you no matter what".....as i swear to him..........
but to thinking about you....i just wanna stop!!!!..

hopefully i can make it what i'm saying....ntah la this is me...i can't hate people...
benci yang akan buat saya demam panas...saya try nak benci dia and his gf..but taley...
i just go with the flo....even saya post macam macam kt status facebook saya...but i didnt mean it...
kadang kadang rasa geram tu melebihi segalanya...saya try nak marah..tapi taley gak....





i todd this is my last love...i really love him...eventhough i know i can't love him as i wish....


this is the last entry about him...i'm going to stop thinking about him..
but i just wait for my miracle...hopefully he will back to me
maybe this post can be so so so emotional..i'm so so so sorry oke..:(





*thanks...wanee , era , fara , dee , baiti , norsiah , alif , kak fiza , ewen , opiee , aini , ain , alun , linda , rehan , fahmi , noorly , kak ti , yan by being my ears oke....




Tuesday, November 24, 2009

thanks for all the wishes...love u always

this birthday make me realise mean of my life...

i just want to say thank you damn so so much...for your wishes...i really really appreciate it...

i'm not a young girl anymore...but i'm afraid to be an older....;))


thank you to my beloved family for the wishes...

daddy , mak , mak , arwah abang , cak , lela , kak intan , angah, nizam , manje , kak mas , sikin , boboy , ai..


i really love love my family oke...

nyawa dan nadi dalam kehidupan saya....;)) i'm gonna die without them....:'(


thank you to my craziest cousins for the wishes...

ateh , ain , wawa , ome , abg chik , kak linda...


thank you to my best buddy for the wishes..

era , fara , dee , aini , ain , joy, nett , alun , wanee , shy , sara , montel , pija , bear , alif , a.zul ,

fik , aida , hazwan , linda , nurule , zainizam , norsiah , baiti , opie , nasrull , yan , rehan , noorly , fahmi , nn , zaheer


i really love love you all always....;))


thank you to my friend for the wishes...

syafiq johore , dila , lyn , iman , mona , arif , fadil , kechik , amie , nor halis syafiq , scha , azrin , akma , niezam kechik , nizam besar , apin , kak eila , ieka , aida azleta , lukman , mimie , ika , syaf , lukman , fadhil manaf , jihad , qistina reny , epy , ezu , kak fiza , tia mustafa , yun , shahir ,

halida , nurul gf boboy , amer saruan , kamal , sheila zainal , sharifah shahira , nadia , izzul , haziex , qayyum , zetty ozleen , syaizawani , prof azman , nisa nasir , sarah yusof , azwan fahmi , kamal zahid , wani kanda , marzuki ,



thank you to my facebook friend for the wishes...;)

kerol izwan , andika skenepit , zainal abidin yaacob , sharul fizam , mohd naqiuddin , napster riji . hady kurniawan , my name syazwan , daud mili , sofi airizam , en .milo , kay azzuri , apip , eza norhana mokhtar , kenetho wonka , ryna shaz , cik syaff hebat , shakira mokhtar , muhammad nasiruddin,


i'm so so so sorry if ader name name yang tak dinyatakan , lambat dinyatakan , atau yang sewaktu dengan nya...:'(

*saya sangat sangat terharu oke...;)) glew glew terharu on everything...so sure saya da semakin besar...

Friday, November 20, 2009

#HappyBirthdayToMe

happy birthday to me
*enough said...i'm happy....;) ;) ;)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

saya and dia

dia : bijak bijak

saya : tak bape bijak sgt la.. ;)

dia : kalau makan..mesti abeskan...tak pernah tak abes..even tak sedap pon...

saya : sedap pon tak abeskan..even lapa sgt sgt..makan kt murni pon tak abeskan

dia : quite pemarah la...tapi tak selalu marah la...

saya : quite penyabar...;))

dia : tak pernah bawak saya sampai sesat

saya : selalu sesat...even pergi murni banyak kali pon sesat ;))

dia : selalu sharing his bittersweet memory with me

saya : being his ears and will be support him forever

dia : slalu nak hit me back by using my word

saya : asek terkena jew..laen kali tanak kenakan lagi

dia : jalan secara sgt malas tapi laju

saya : lagi sgt sgt sgt malas dan lagi lambat

dia : suke text secara pendek pendek

saya : suka text secara panjang panjang..kalau bole nak abeskan 1 page

dia :sgt sgt pemalu...for the 1st time we met..tunduk je...;) sgt sgt comel..;))

saya : tak pemalu langsung...;)) asek ckp je non stop

dia : selalu dapat teka aje ape yg ada kat pemikiran saya...( kantoi nak makan mcflurry ;p)

saya : blur blur...tatau ape ape...

dia : bole beruba beruba...can't predict

saya : camni la...stuck with her own life

dia : sgt sgt nice...even he's mood not so oke...

saya : ...........:'(

dia : always taking good care of his family....;)) so so great...i like...;))

saya : always make my family worried about me...:'( aiyark so bad...

dia : always forgive me..even i always doing the same mistakes...:'(

saya : keep on doing the same mistakes

dia : so calm.. yg sgt sgt sgt nice.

saya : glew clumsy

dia : bagi saya gelaran..dear , babe..n mrs.s..(babe tu tiru saya..saya yg pgl die dulu)

saya : byk sgt gelaran untuk dia..super orange rocket , super a , sleeping handsome , babe , uncle










saya suka dia....sbb die sgt sgt nice...at the same time..we r so different...
so so different...
and right now..i don't know anything about him...:'(

dissapear...dissapear.....like a wind...can haf a feel but can't touch it..

my miracle was gone.....






*thinking of you...you you you you you..even know you are so far away.....;) ;) ;)




me and myself

become 22 this friday make me so so so scared...:(
i'm not matured at all to be an older
enough said by being an actress without a human director
wanna DELETE some items in myself..my memory package going to be fool..:) :)
*you're not my priority anymore....:( :( :(

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

: '(

i need you...but you're not around

Monday, November 16, 2009

rambut yang dulu panjang kini sudah pendek






i already cut my hair...;))...seems i'm not so taking care to my hair...
i miss when wanee and fara sikat kan rambut saya yang kusut itu setelah mandi...;)) (sangat sangat malas nak sikat rambut...)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

kebisingan dan kesenyapan

mencari kedamaian dalam kebisingan...
mencari keramaian dalam kesenyapan..

setelah berfikir secara lama - lama and dalam dalam..itulah entry yang keluar arini...;))
yelah...tiba tiba dalam suasana yang bising bising..saya rasa nak pergi ke kawasan yang damai...
and tiba tiba..dalam suasana yang senyap senyap...saya rasa nak pergi ke kawasan yang penuh dengan keramaian..;))

maybe entry pelik ni terkeluar ble saya baru pulang dari menonton 2012..
owh tuhan..saya rasa insaf seketika..adakah hidup ini kan menjadi begitu....? owh..lupa nak mention..yang saya pergi menonton bersama sama dengan ewen and kak fiza...;))
time kaseh banyak banyak ewen banjer makan and tgk wayang...
owh...saya sangat sangat suka...;))
and right now...i can't wait for TWILIGHT SAGA - NEW MOON....;))
anyone wanna company me to watch this movie...;))
saya baru abeskan 2 bab novel tu...and saya akan pastikan saya abes bace..baru pergi tgk..;))
time kaseh my bestfriend forever era n fara sebab bagi saya new moon novel as my birthday present...
so so so so so so so so APPRECIATE....;))
love love love love both of U damn so much..more than......


kebisingan yang diimpikan tak seperti yang diharapkan...dan kesenyapan yang diinginkan pon tak seperti diharapkan...

Saturday, November 14, 2009

tenangtenangsetenang padi yang menghijau

damn so nice....that padi...not me..;))
me with my officemate...
both of us...;))


mencari ketenangan didalam pemikiran yang sempit.....;))

kejam dengan diri sendiri

right now that title is my status on my facebook...;))





KEJAM DENGAN DIRI SENDIRI

don't you ever asking..why i always KEJAM on myself......

sometimes you can't think it properly...even your mind know that, your decision is not totally correct...
this is my feeling right now....totally lost...;0



actually i have so so so so many words to make a senteces....but i don't want to make my life become so so so disaster..so i will be keep it by myself...;p





*tired by being an actress without a director......;))

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

fara dapat saya tak dapat

saya punya impian nak sangat sangat belajar kat luar negara...saya nak sangat belajar kt australia tapon kat kt new york..
dari kecik kecik lagi...saya da tanam impian nak belajar kat luar negara...sebab sumer cousin cousin saya belajar kat oversea...

ude kat united kingdom
abg chik kat london
yee kat india

so as a daughter of hj malek..so saya mestilah nak nak futher stadi kt oversea gak...
kalau saya tak dpt futher degree kat sane...saya akan pastikan saya wat master kat saner..
saya nak la...saya ader pendidikan yang tinggi....saya nak ader master..
kalau ader master saya ley jadi lecturer... nanti bila ader duet lebey sket sket saya nak wat phd

right now..bestfriend saya fara..dapat offer futher stadi kat sane...columbia..besh glew kot..
tapi dia tak pegi...dia dapat scholarship dari sane...
2 kali dia dapat offer...besh kan?
maybe this is her fated..kalau dia pegi..maybe saya takan kenal dia...tu sebab dia tak pegi..
and saya dan dia boleh jadi bestfriend..;)
actually sumer sumer kawan baek saya futher stadi kat oversea..saya jew tak..;(
glew jeles dengan dorang.....


btw babe....i'm happy for u...grateful dpt offer camtu...
btw kalau aku dpt pon..aku tatau lagi nak pegi ke tak....since aku gurl kan...maser nak g blaja kat arau dlu pon..bising semacam....kalau boleh nak uitm sebelah rumah..;))


but...grateful glew dapat blaja jauh jauh...utara selatan kot...saya sangat sangat suka oke..
kalau boleh saya tanak la bermaustautin kat johore...;P


kalau dapat pergi jauh jauh..ley lupakan orang orang kat cni...;))






*miss him damn so much...hopefully my handphone is ringing with song love you yes

.........

tatau la...saya rasa relief dari malam semalam...right now..saya demam...selepas kena hujan balek dari murni dengan dee and shahir... kat murni makan mee raja and ice lemon tea dan sebok kacau dee and shahir punye ribena special...;p
tapi tak abes pon makan...sket jew makan nyer..shahir yang abeskan mee raja tersebut...;p
and yang paling bestnyer..dee abes kan spagetti dia..actually budak berdua tu tak la..rancang....tiba tiba si shahir nak makan bende pelik pelik..so the best suggestion is murni..even kat murni..mahal..tapi dia worth it..mahal n banyak,,;))
kamu memang akan abeskan makanan orang kan ..last friday kamu abeskan makanan dee..and last night kamu abeskan makanan saya..;)

balek dari murni...saya ym dengan opie..ntah la..lately ni rasa rapat plak ngn opie....maybe opie taw ape yang saya rasa kot..and btw thanks k my dearie fiancee...;))
i appreciate glew glew kot......;)
banyak yang saya share dengan dia....maybe aliff bz kot..so i need someone yang akan saya share crita...
saya pon tanak la kacau dia..dia pon sebok dengan final exam..saya ni jew yang relax relax...haihh..tiba tiba rasa rindu kat my bestfriend aliff...;)

semalam gak la...era n fara balek..
era : babe..kamu taw tak fara dpt offer stady kat oversea with scholarship?
me ; tatau la...dia maner?
era : da balek da melaka da...pagi tadi dia balek ble mak die call ckp die saket


then tengah tengah online...fara buzz..
fara: babe...kamu da balek keje?
me: da da


internet yag asek disconnect membuatkan saya dengan fara taley ym lame lame..saya nak tanyer pasal offer tu pon tak sempat...n btw..both of me ( era n me ) memang kepoh..so kalau era taw..maybe saya akan taw gak..;p


ntah la...kadang kadang..saya pon tak paham apa yang saya rasa...i feel relief...but i always thinking...thinking about it...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

risau

saya sangat sangat risau...b0le tak kalau reply text ke...angkat ph0ne ke..
susah sangat ke nak wat ?
saya kat sini macam 0rang gila risau keadaan k0rang....
are y0u 0ke? b0th 0f y0u 0ke tak?
please la..jangan wat saya risau b0leh tak?

risau yang memeningkan kepala...kali ni risau lagi teruk dari thinking where t0 i get rm 339 t0 repair back my camera...:'(

sampai satu tahap..tiba tiba saya menangis memikirkan kamu berdua...tapi lately ni memang saya mudah nangis...






*tiba tiba rasa pening kepala sangat...kenapa saya perlu amik tahu kan?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

ladadadaddaddadaa...blow me a kiss


erm..saya rindu sangat sangat kat family saya...sometimes i can breath as usual...maybe this week my bad weeks...

for this week..saya asek nangis jew..macam macam yang jadi....and the most important things..

i really miss my family..:'(


saya sangat sangat penat dengan keadaan sekeliling saya...sometimes..my brain was said..i'm tired by being me....tired by being so cruel to myself..why i can't love myself as i love anyone else..?


its become so weird as much as i more thinking about it...;)


who cares about my feeling?saya da la sangat sangat tak pandai jaga hati orang..so sapa peduli nak jaga hati saya kan?


last thursday saya pergi menonton pisau cukur..owh my prada...sangat sangat best...saya suka glew glew..

owh kamu si gigi besi...i love you damn so much... ;) FAQIR


"watpe nak kawen ngn orang susah kalau boleh kawen ngn orang senang?"


hahahahhaa....saya suka glew glew dialog itu...dan saya pernah bercita cita nak jadi datin..

hahahhahaha..datin yang bijak, yang simple , yang suka lagu alternatif , yang suka pergi gig gig n konsert konsert..datin yang so so nice...owh...best best...





*tiba tiba rasa semakin tak saba nak jadi besar...cepat cepat 20hb november setiap tahun...;))

Friday, November 6, 2009

14 days left

lagi 14 hari lagi hari jadi saya...;))
hahhahaa..glew gedik saya menghitung hari jadi saya...;p.. saya rasa sudah semakin tua..
22?waaa...angka yang rasa banyak sangat...
saya tanak la..saya nak muda...;))
tapi kalau saya pergi mana mana...semua orang selalu ingat saya budak sekolah..tapon saya cam 19 atau 18 tahun...;))
owh..tuhan..saya sangat suka...;))

saya nak hamster sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak dslr d90 sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak novel new moon sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak nokia 5700 sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak kek banana coklat secret recipe sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak a bowl of handmade origami sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak tuhan bagi kebahgiaan kepada orang yang saya sayang sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak jadi orang yang baik sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak skinny jeans mng yang terbaru sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak orang maenkan gitar sempena ari jadi saya
saya nak senyum jew sepanjang ari semasa ari jadi saya

banyak kan saya wish untuk ari jadi saya...tapi sebenarnya lagi banyak saya punya wish..cuma tak terlarat nak taip jew..;))

btw..saya sangat sangat happy as i wish..sebab tak sabar nak tunggu ari jadi saya yang jatuh pada hari jumaat...hari yang saya lahir...;))
20/11/2009





*hehhehee...saya suka makan kek tak kira la hari jadi atau tak

Thursday, November 5, 2009

stop crying

sometimes you didnt know when your heart saying is lies to you..but your 'naluri' is always right..

this morning is so so bad for me..this is first time i'm so so so hurt....hurt because the stupid words..

i don't like the stupid stupid words..because i can't said the stupid words..:'(
right now..i don't want think anymore about it...i'm lost my tears because the stupid situations..

i lost my tears this morning and evening...when i sitting in front of my friend barang kesayangan dunia akhirat..and don't know why his words keep in my mind..

so please wake up la hanizahjmalek..stop crying...stop thinking about the stupid feeling..
this is not real you...and only you can make you happy as you want...


Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing Especially when I have to watch other people kissin' And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood I dont why I trusted you but I knew that I could We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt

Dreams, Dreams Of when we had just started things Dreams of you and me It seems, It seems That I can't shake those memories I wonder if you have the same dreams too.
The littlest things that take me there I know it sounds lame but its so true I know its not right, but it seems unfair That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend Even if for only one weekend So come on,
Tell meIs this the end?

Drinkin' tea in bed Watching DVD's When I discovered all your dirty grotty magazines You take me out shopping and all we'd buy is trainers As if we ever needed anything to entertain us the first time that you introduced me to your friend sand you could tell I was nervous,
so you held my handwhen I was feeling down, you made that face you dono one in the world that could replace you











*listen this song again and again and lost my tears..

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

can you understand me?

can you understand me?



four words with simple meaning....
enoug said~~~

Monday, November 2, 2009

The All American Reject Live in Kuala Lumpur

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..saya nak gitar tersebut
me with my brother...muka die yang keletihan..tapi saya masih lagi oke

dirty little secret


erm...i wanna hug them~~~;))



i love aar damn so much





see...ramai glew orang kot....;))





wat?saya da penat tunggu aar ni.....







boy and his friend

melompat sehingga keletihan..
berdiri sehingga kepenatan
menjerit sehingga tiada kedengaran
and the important is...i love aar damn so much...
yeah yeah~~~~~



tampar

kena tampar yang buat sampai saya demam~~
demam yang buat saya bangun hingga tengah hari~~

nor haziqa kaisara

see...she so so so cute with her mouth was open~~~;))
my super duper great mak, my lovely sis, my sweet niece and me.....



kenapa la kamu ni comel sangat...i wish we can change the type...i will be a baby~~;))


kamu tido dan tido dan tido....and kamu sangat sangat kecil..tapi kamu sangat sangat sangat wangi dan suci.....;))
yeah yeah...finally i can write about her..and upload her picture..;))
dia sangat sangat kecil sampai saya cam takot nak pegang~~~~~
i really love you NOR HAZIQA KAISARA~~~