but at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. your visits have been coming less often, and i feel sometimes as i the greatest part of who i am is slowly slipping away. ;)
i am trying, though. at night when i am alone, i call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. last night, in my dreams, i saw you on my dreams . the wind was blogging through your hair , and your eyes held the fading sunlight .
i think as i see you, a vision that i can never find in anyone else. i slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, i notice that other have been watching you as well. " do you know him?" they ask me me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, i simply answer with the truth . " better than my own heart ". i give myself over to this moment, at peace once again ;)
i am here to love. i am here to learn from you and receive your love in return. i am here because there is no other place to be. ;)
but then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. it is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and i find that i grow fearful as it approaches. it slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escape . like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.
i feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because i know it is time for you to go. the look you give me at that moment haunts me. i feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me.
and i watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. i find myself straining to remember everything about this moment. everything about you , but soon , always too soon your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its far away place and i am alone on my desk and i do not care what others think as i bow my head and cry and cry and cry. :'(
" i'm counting the pieces of rainbow..seen the rain drop one by one...and waiting the sunlight on the dark clouds to see you "
*i need the air to breath but i need you to teach me how to breath the air ;)